Do you allow yourself the Freedom to Choose?
In a world where our decisions can appear to be predetermined by factors outside ourselves, we can easily forget that we can choose our own path or what door to walk through.
At other times we can feel like we have no choice – that there isn’t a decision to be made, that perhaps, we are stuck with what we have and there is no option to change. The other side of this is overwhelm of too many options to choose from, so we can get stuck in analysis paralysis and give our power to choose away. Remember though, that giving the decision to someone else to make is also a choice.
Regardless of how we feel in the moment in the middle of a situation, it is key to give yourself permission to have the freedom to choose. And to remember that in most cases, the choice doesn’t have to be permanent.
When we are faced with a difficult decision to make it is useful to keep the outcomes of what you would ultimately like to achieve in mind. Take time to consider the options and ask “what will bring me the most joy and satisfaction?” or “what will help me get to my goal?” – if that goal is to get fitter and the choice is between sitting on the sofa or moving your body, the joy might be in sitting on the sofa, but the goal will become reality if you move…!
Choices have consequences
It is useful to keep in mind that all choices have consequences. Whether that is sitting on the sofa – your goal of fitness will be delayed – or, choosing to press the button at a pedestrian crossing. The consequences are that the lights will change and the cars will stop – you can then safely cross the road, or really annoy the drivers by continuing to walk on the same side without crossing! (so sometime it is also good to assess the impact on others when we are making choices!)
Ultimately, the only way to really give ourselves the freedom to choose, is to trust our instincts and make decisions that are true to ourselves and our values. And to keep in mind the consequences for both ourselves and others of our choices.
Learning to trust your choices
Learning to make ‘good’ choices will benefit us and those in our lives, and even though it can be a difficult process, it’s an essential part of living a fulfilling life.
If you need to start small, take a pause and actively choose what you want to eat for your next meal. Bring in all the data (what’s in the fridge/which takeaway you have on speed dial/what you need to add to a shopping list to get the ingredients you need) and make a choice. Then make another (where will you eat?) and another (will you eat on your own or with people) and another (will you tidy up straight after or leave it until later!), and so on and so on.
My silly meal example will hopefully highlight how many choices you already make in life that you trust yourself to make and you are free to make, so, look around and see where else you are making choices and decide if you are happy with the choices you are picking.
And if you would like to hear what the Therapists in Conversation had to say about the topic, head over to YouTube now.
Angela Daye 